The Countdown...

4 days to go, including today. That's how many work days I have left at NRCC. I set my official last day for next Monday, Aug. 18. That's when I close the chapter on the last 6+ years and move forward to something different.

Yesterday, my boss made it "official" by sending a memo to the whole college saying I was leaving. That email definitely made it sink in more -- as people email back or stop by my office -- saying goodbye is going to be tough.

While I am so excited about what I'll be doing, and so ready to change it up, it's hard to imagine life not in these halls. Cleaning my office is a chore -- what do I do with some of this stuff? So many memories in this office, with these coworkers. We've experienced a lot of life together, shared a lot of stories and moments.

Part of what is hard is knowing that I don't have a replacement right now. That means I'm leaving and I don't have someone who I feel confident can pick up where I'm leaving off. It's not that my boss hasn't known I'm leaving. He's known that since 2005, when I told him we weren't moving after all but he still needed to replace me because I'd decided I was applying to grad school. I started that in August 2006, and he's known every step of the way what my plans were. But the state has had several hiring freezes since then, and it hasn't been a top priority. So now I'm about to leave some things hanging out there. Some things that I feel badly about not being able to do. But it won't be my job anymore, and I know I'm going to be where God has led me.

I'll write an official farewell post later... this is just the thoughts on my mind as I realize only 4 days to go. The countdown has begun.

tidbits

1) annie has a great post here about the "american" dream

2) papa might be moving to the rehab facility today. keep praying for him and his recovery.

3) the white sox are playing terrible baseball right now, and are mere percentage points in the lead in the AL central. if they keep playing poorly and losing, you might want to know in advance that david and i will probably get cranky in august.

4) we have kept our bedroom clean for over a week now. like ridiculously clean where we put everything away at night and there are no random stacks growing. this is a first for me, so i am very, very proud and working hard to start new habits.

5) i just finished watching this season's biggest loser. i had to DVR them in the spring with finishing up grad school and the kidney transplant, and i finally got through the final 4 episodes i had missed. that show gives me lots of motivation to eat right and stay in shape. it's all about lifestyle choices. and the advantage of having trainer bob kick you in the pants daily or trainer jilian scream put total fear in you. i'm sure that has something to do with the success of the finalists... :)

okay, that's all the random tidbits for now.

time for a few updates...

there are several things i want to update everyone on:

1) Before & After - no i didn't forget. i know the deadline passed on this one from what i wrote earlier. boomama has postponed her date, but i spent all weekend working on our bedroom and bathroom (items #2 & #3) and can let you know that I AM DONE!!!

that's right: SUCCESS! so i didn't finish until july 28, but still... i'm finished! i don't have any before pictures, but i'll post some after pics later. stay tuned.

2) ICE CREAM FAST - a number of you know i gave up ice cream from early july until AUGUST 8 (jeanette's bday). its kind of like a summer lent, i guess, but i wanted to practice self-discipline and give something up that sometimes has power over me. (did i mention how much i love ice cream?)

this weekend, i did eat few bites of ice cream while at a baby shower, but only because it was an ice cream cake and a piece was handed to me and i could not hand it back. that would have been totally inappropriate to make a scene in such a setting. it was during the gift opening and there was just no way not to eat it without drawing attention. kati, who we all know is very wise (no pun intended), was next to me and i told her my dilemma, and she agreed i had to eat it. i don't want to be legalistic about this "fast" so i decided it was only a few bites (i was handed a very small piece).

here's the thing: i didn't even enjoy it. it wasn't very good. all the other ladies raved about how yummy the cake was. and i'm sure it was. i believe that God didn't let me enjoy it so that i wouldn't feel guilty. he knew i wasn't succumbing to temptation, so i think he let me not really enjoy it so that i would stay strong.

this was put to the test the next day. we had some friends in from out of town, and after church a group of us went to el rod's for lunch. katie had been promised by her hubby jason that they'd get tcby while in town, because she had been craving it and there wasn't one in richmond. so after lunch, we walked across the street and they all got ice cream/yogurt. except me! i held up and did not give into the temptation. the boys all sat at the kiddie picnic table, which i thought was cute. they are so funny!



anyway, i feel good about not falling off the wagon and look forward to officially breaking my ice cream fast while celebrating the olympics and sassy's bday on aug. 8!

farewells...

if i were solomon writing ecclesiates 3, there's one more "time" i would add in -- a time to say hello and a time to say goodbye. this is something that definitely is a "season" under heaven, especially where we live in blacksburg.

living in a college town can be challenging sometimes, because its such a transient place. people come and go, and yet, some of us stay. so we have a lot of hellos and goodbyes...more than the average person in some suburb or city somewhere.

this week has been a week to say farewell to our friends deric and sarah. they have both recently received their PhDs and are moving to boston to start jobs/post-grad work. it is a very exciting time for them, as they are going to be able to experience the fruits of their labor. but it is also a sad time, as they are saying farewell to blacksburg for a long time.

david and i met deric through basketball in war memorial gym, and it turned out he had been to nlcf so he recognized us. there's been a group of mostly grad students deric knows that david and i joined in with who have played basketball together weekly for the last 2 years. and now its time to say farewell.

we played our last "game" with deric on tuesday in the gym, and last night we joined a crowd of folks at the cellar to have a final meal with deric and his wife sarah. they pack up the uhaul on sunday (assuming uhaul actually has a truck for them -- they've had quite an ordeal with their reservation).

in august, new folks will come to town and we'll continue to make new friends. but we'll sure miss the old ones. and we'll sure miss our saturday basketball games with deric and company.

The two ends of the marriage spectrum...

This past weekend was a unique one for David and I. That's because we had the pleasure of being able to celebrate two ends of the marriage spectrum.

Saturday, our friend John got married in Blacksburg. He and his bride, Ashley, had smiles on their faces the entire time, and Ashley was quite possibly the most excited bride I had ever seen on stage. (And I've seen a lot of weddings...working with a college church, we average about 5-6 per year.)

This couple was experiencing the first moments of what its like when you say your vows to each other. Long after the flashbulbs from cameras stop popping, you still have the privilege to wake up each day next to the person who you promised to cherish. The person to whom you slid a ring on the third finger on their left hand and said, "I choose you." Weddings are fun and happy occasions, but the marriages they start are what I love the most. I enjoy seeing people lock eyes when they come down the aisle. I love watching the groom tear up while everyone else is staring at the bride. The pure joy and excitement is a blessing to experience. The apostle Paul tells us it is an image of Christ and the church.

On Sunday, we got to experience the other end of the spectrum. Witnessing the first moments of a marriage on Saturday, we got to witness some of the final moments of a marriage on Sunday. My grandparents, Maurice & Katherine Carpenter, were being honored at a party for their 60th wedding anniversary (which was actually July 3).

That's right. 60 years. That's a lot of mornings to wake up and smell the kitten breath of the person on the other side of the bed. That's a lot of burned dinners, miscommunications, and apologies. That's a lot of sunsets enjoyed together, children raised, and if lucky, even grandchildren and great-grandchildren. All of these were present Sunday when we honored Mema & Papa.

Papa has been battling cancer recently, and is due to turn 85 in August. Mema turned 85 back in March and is already a breast cancer survivor. Do the math and you'll realize they were married the same year they turned 25. That's not that young to get married, and in fact, in their day, it was old. The fact that they have both stayed in strong health this long is a huge blessing not everyone gets to experience. Neither is the experience of true love and devotion. Unfortunately, so many marriages fail. When you get to celebrate ones that lasts, its such a blessing.

My prayer is that David and I make it to 60 years. Not because I don't think we will want to, but so many things can get in the way. Life can get in the way -- sickness, accidents, you name it.

We're not guaranteed tomorrow. We've been married approximately 6 years, 10 months, 7 days, 18 hours, and 25 minutes. And we know we're not guaranteed 7 years. Or even 6 years, 10 months, 8 days and 19 hours. But I hope we are blessed to experience as much love in devotion in however much time we have left as Mema & Papa have in their 60+ years together. They are great examples of serving God and devoting their lives to Him. Their faith and trust in their savior Jesus has been the glue in their marriage. David and I can only hope we can imitate this as much as our imperfect souls allow. If we can be half the married couple and servants of Jesus Christ that the Carpenters have been, we are in for a long, fun ride.

What a weekend. Happy events, happy marriages. Some in the first few moments. Some in probably the later moments. But both extremely joyous occasions. What a great God we serve.

Discipline...

I am realizing more and more that I lack self-discipline. When I was younger, I didn't struggle with this nearly as much as I do now. Exercise is a great example. In high school, I lived for sports, and played them year-round. I was always going to practice and would often leave and head straight to the gym. I was fit and in shape, and I thrived on it. Now, I struggle with the motivation to exercise. I think part of it is that I was always involved in team sports, and I really don't like running. I used to run because it kept me in shape for my sports. But now, I just can't stand it. I try to run, and at times it is very cathartic for me (especially in the rain). But I am discovering that I am just so slow that I lose my motivation. I keep telling David that I want to run a road race so I'll have something to train for, but 2008 has been empty for me. I've averaged one race a year (5k, 10k, or duathlon) each of the past 4 years, but so far this year is a wash. I really need to work on this...

Books are another example. There have been times in my life when I was a reading machine. But now is not one of them. I like to read, and enjoy when I do, but my motivation is low. I just don't discipline myself to do it. I get easily distracted by other things (like reading people's blogs or trying to clean my house) and I don't take the time to sit and read. I even get distracted by silly things on TV because I'm tired and I sometimes view reading as work. This is probably in part because it takes a lot of effort for me to read because of my ADHD, and focusing without distraction is very challenging. Grad school for me was a major trial, although its not something I shared with a lot of people. Trying to keep up with the reading when you have the disabilities I do is tough. But so many people joke about "being ADD" that it's not worth explaining sometimes that you have it and what it really means. But enough of that tangent...this is not a post on ADHD.

Anyway, all this to say that I am realizing I need more discipline. Whether it's in prayer or fasting, reading or exercising, I am trying to do better. To start, I decided last week that I'd give up ice cream until Jeanette's b-day (8/8/08). I chose that date because it was a month away (at the time) and I knew I'd want to eat some when we celebrate that day. So I figured it would be a good test of my willpower and self-discipline.

So if you see me between now and then, ask me how I'm doing with that and with other areas of discipline in my life... just don't offer me a bowl of ice cream! :)

reconnection

Today I met my longtime friend Kati for coffee. Okay, that's a lie. Those of you who know me know that I don't drink coffee. I drank hot tea. (Sorry Jeanette, I confess I got a hot drink in the summer. Can we still be friends?) Anyway, back to the point. Kati and I got together originally to discuss women's ministry stuff, but instead we got sidetracked talking about life. It was great to catch up and reconnect -- and its strange that we have lived in the same town for 10 years now and yet we rarely see each other these days. Gone are the days of sharing an apartment in the nlcf-ghetto, when we were all single and were involved in prank wars. Now are the days of work, responsibility, and family. But that is still no excuse to not make friendships a priority. It was wonderful to reconnect with Kati and I look forward to doing it again soon. I felt a heavy conviction in my spirit as I biked home from the coffee shop that I needed to be faithful in the old friendships in my life just as much as I am to the new ones. As the girl scouts song goes, "Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other gold."

I also had the privilege to reconnect with my friend Kelly. Kelly now lives in Richmond, but is in town for her brother's wedding. While her hubby was out shooting "all the guns" with the men out in Craig Co., she was with the ladies doing nails and last minute details. Having some spare time, she stopped by houseofchinn, and I gladly stopped my house cleaning to catch up. One of my favorite things about Kelly is the fact that you can just pick up where you left off with her. Even though David and I only see her and Kevin several times a year, they are just comfortable friends. (I cannot wait until our trip to France with them & the Schmidts in December!) Kelly always makes me laugh and is just someone that you can discuss life with and feel good afterwards -- a very cathartic friendship.

So yay for a day of reconnection -- some planned, others spontaneous. But in both cases, pure joy. Definitely a day of enjoying the "gold" in my life.

psalms meditations

Mike Swann and I are splitting the latest teaching series at church. It's on the Psalms, and I did the intro last Sunday.

Each day I'm posting a meditation on the nlcf.net web site from Eugene Peterson's "A Year with the Psalms" book. This is a nifty little book my mom loaned me from the library of Walnut Grove Baptist Church. It was written in 1979 (the year I was born!) but it is still very timely. I'm digging the short meditations and prayers, and it seemed like the perfect thing to post daily on the web to encourage our church members to be reading/thinking/praying about the Psalms daily.

Feel free to follow along on nlcf.net and if you want, you can listen to the messages here.

Using our Past...

Summer Faith Challenge (Day 37 of 42)

“The things I hate most [about my life] are the things God uses most every day in ministry.”

This is a rough quote from Beth Moore that I jotted down during Bible study last night. She was talking about wrestling at times with her own past, and the many things it contains that she is ashamed of. She mentioned her abusive childhood coupled with her own sinful choices that took her into a life in the pit. She then talked about how she has prayed that God will reminder her of those experiences when she is ministering to people. This allows her to connect with them in a way that at times others can. She said that we often will show the amount of grace that we understand God to have shown us. This means that those who understand and are humbled by the lavish amount of grace God has shown them are more likely to extend grace to others.

I know as a counselor, I face this reality daily. I see so much of myself in others, especially when they are hurting. Much of my compassion comes from the grace I feel on my own life, and I realize that just like Beth, God tends to use parts of my life I regret the most to help me minister to others who are broken and hurting.

When we are contemplating our life of faith — where do we stand with our own past and the grace we show others? Have we accepted our past (no matter how stained it is) and are we readily and openly available to show grace towards others (no matter how stained their past or present is)?

I'm Alive...

Summer Faith Challenge (Day 36 of 42)

Yesterday morning I got up and decided to do my bible study for the day before I went to church. Beth Moore suggested in the study we're doing that we all spend some time “on our face” (literally) before we do our study each day. She talks about how our posture can really affect our heart and our communication with God — and how being face down on the ground can really humble us into the right spirit. I’ve found this to be true, and have enjoyed the practice of literally reminding myself of my position before God. I’ve made it a practice to have some personal worship time while on the ground, and yesterday, while I was face down, one song kept popping in my head. The only problem was that I couldn’t remember all the words or the tune… It was one of those moments where you know that you know the song, but you cannot get other tunes out of your head. So all I could sing was “I’m alive, I’m alive, I’m alive, I’m alive.” I tried looking in an nlcf songbook that was nearby, but nothing could jog my memory.

Frustrated, I got up and did my study. An hour later, I stood in church and Isaac started playing during the first worship set, and I heard it. He began to play the song! “You alone are Father, and You alone are Good… You alone are Savior, and You alone are God.” That was it!!! I started tearing up I was so moved, because I felt like God was saying, “I know you heart — here is your song.” I had such a worshipful moment while singing…and it was definitely a boost to my faith. And I felt more alive in my faith while singing than I have in a while…it was like God literally breathed life into me.

What a reminder of the fact that all we have to do is try in our faith, and God will not only meet us there

How do we see God?

Summer Faith Challenge (Day 26 of 42)

Eugene Peterson writes:

“We are not presented with a functional god who will help us out of jams or an entertainment god who will lighten our tedious hours. We are presented with the God of exodus and Easter, the God of Sinai and Calvary. If we want to understand God, we must do it on his terms. If we want to see God the way he really is, we must look to the place of authority–to Scripture and to Jesus Christ.

And do we really want it any other way? I don’t think so. We would very soon become contemptuous of a god whom we could figure out like a puzzle or learn to use like a tool. No, if God is worth our attention at all, he must be a God we can look up to–a God we must look up to…The moment we look up to God (and not over at him, or down at him) we are in the posture of servitude.”*

Wow. This was all I needed to read today to challenge my faith. Am I in the position of servitude? Do I have the posture of looking up at God in this way?

Psalm 123 is a good prayer for me to cling to…


*Eugene H. Peterson. A Long Obedience in the Same Direction, p. 63.

Giving and Living...

Summer Faith Challenge (Day 25 of 42)

I like reading other women’s blogs. Many of them I don’t know personally, but I feel like I do know them in the Lord. They share their lives and faith, and I learn so much from them.

I was reading one today in which a woman posted this as part of a blog post:
“That’s the bottom line…give to God generously, above and beyond what you are called to give, and do it with joy. Live your life directed toward His voice, knowing that one day, He may ask you to give it all away. It may be as insignificant as a silly purse (nothing personal, Coco), or as meaningful as someone you love. None of it is ours, not one bit.”

I couldn’t have said this better myself. Part of living out our faith is to give to God generously, above and beyond, AND to do so with joy. I desire to live my life directed toward His voice. And I want to be ready to give all that he calls me to do.

What do I have right now that I can give? Time? Money? Possessions? Friendship? I want to be seeking God daily to be in touch with what he might have me sacrifice for him and his kingdom…

Satisfaction.

Summer Faith Challenge (Day 24 of 42)

Okay… so after another missed day, all I can do is share that this summer faith thing is challenging. It doesn’t seem too hard to have to post a blog daily, but yet I’m only batting .500 on day 4. That might be a hall of fame batting average, but I’m not sure the same rules apply to blogging.

One thought that has been on my mind since yesterday was the idea of hunger and satisfaction.

A quick story: After attending a baseball game in Salem on Friday, I found myself and the 4 others with me craving a Krispy Kreme donut. We frantically drove to get there before close, and we bought a dozen in addition to being given a free one each. Our tummies were satisfied and we didn’t think much of it until later, when Jeanette (one of the 4) discovered Friday had been Free Donut Day at all Krispy Kreme shops. We got a good laugh out of that one, and joked that must have been why some of us were craving one.

Fast forward to Monday night’s Bible study, and one of the ladies shared that she hadn’t realized how thirsty she was for fellowship until she had attended the first Bible study. It was being there, satisfied, that left her realizing how thirsty she had been.

What is it that each of us is thirsty for this day? This summer? The next year? Sometimes we might miss something we need, because we don’t realize we need it until its right in front of us. Other times we just want something and don’t realize that we can have it without having to do a lot to get it. My point is this: either way, by being active in our faith, giving things a try, and putting ourselves out there, we are more likely to find satisfaction in God than if we just stay complacent.

Two different examples. Same result. Satisfaction. What a wonderful feeling.

Summer Faith Challenge

This week, I've been "assigned" to blog on nlcf.net daily as part of our church's 6-week Summer Faith Challenge. I've decided that I'll copy what I post there to my personal blog as well...

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Summer Faith Challenge (day 22 of 42)

So I’m already off to a “rough” start with my faith challenge. Yesterday was my first assigned day to blog, and I forgot. Oops. But that’s the great thing about something like a faith challenge. It’s designed to last over a long haul, and along the way there will always be slip-ups.

This week I’ve been reading in the Psalms as a start to the women’s bible study on the psalms of ascents. We’re memorizing one, Psalm 121. In this psalm, there’s a verse that stands out to me today.

Psalm 121:3 (HCSB) states: “He will not allow your foot to slip; your Protector will not slumber.”

There will be times when the faith path gets slick, and its easy for us to slip up. But God is there to protect us and to help us keep our footing. That is such an encouragement to me.

But what happens when we slip up anyway?

Jude 1:24 states: “To him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy—”

We may lose our footing, but our Lord is there to keep us from getting really banged up, so that we can finish the race before us “without fault and with great joy.”

Keep running hard on this challenge…

Update & Transition...

David and Chris both continue to heal. David's been back at work 2 weeks and although he is very tired, his energy level slowly improves each day. He still cannot do any strenuous activities and when he tries (like cutting the grass while I'm out), he does experience quite a bit of discomfort. But that is supposedly normal, and he's trying to stay patient.

Chris will have the drains on for 6-8 weeks to help his body manage the fluid retention caused by one of the anti-rejection medications. But the kidney is still working well. Praise God! Keep praying that it continues to "fit in" well in his body.

To this point, I've mostly used this blog for updates about the surgery. But since the guys are improving, I'm going to begin transitioning this blog to something more...

From now on, it will include family updates, happenings, prayer requests, pictures, and thoughts on what I'm learning. The best way to sift through what's here is to use the LABEL bar on the right side of the screen. Each post has a label (like a keyword), and you can click on the label you are interested in and the posts for that label will appear.

Make sense? I hope so. I look forward to sharing more of our lives and thoughts with you all...